Dear Airport Baskin Robbins Kenny Rogers

Hey you. Yes, you, Kenny Rogers. I’m looking at you.

Well, yes, of course I know that you’re not really Kenny Rogers. Still, you’ve done a great job of turning yourself into a shrine to the Gambler himself:  well-groomed salt-and-pepper beard and mustache, collared shirt and pressed blue jeans, artfully sculpted grey-and-white feathers of hair so neatly parted down the center of your scalp.

Here’s the thing, Kenny: even if you were Mister Rogers himself (the singer, not he-of-the-beloved-cardigan), you shouldn’t hold up the line like you’re doing, chatting up the lovely ice cream maven behind the counter. We are, after all, standing in line at a Baskin Robbins within the concourse of an airport. In other words, those of us in line with you likely need to board flights pretty soon. Very soon. Please-let-us-order-our-ice-cream-and-get-our-ice-cream-and-eat-our-ice-cream-before-we-are-ordered-to-board-an-airplane soon.

Pensive Kenny. Must be thinking about what flavors to include in his double scoop.
Photo courtesy of celebritybase.info.

We haven’t got tonight, Kenny. We have a few minutes. We’re not islands in the stream, either. We’re hungry – or even hangry – passengers looking for some sweet, frozen goodness to boost our moods and our blood sugar.

Keep up this behavior, and no, we won’t always love you. We won’t even risk falling in love with you, whether or not you’re a dreamer. Darlin’, you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, you’ve got to know when to fold ‘em, and you’ve got to know when to pay ‘em and move out of the way of the rest of us.

Oh, see?… my flight’s boarding now, and I haven’t even had the opportunity to order. I’ll remember this, Kenny. I’ll remember it through the years. Just you wait.

Smile, Though Your Heart is Aching…

You know how it feels to have heartache. To be sad or grumpy. To be frustrated or irritated or blah. We can’t be happy all the time. And when we’re not happy, being around other people can feel anything from mildly annoying to flat out aggravating. If your heart hurts or your ire is up or you’re under pressure, you might want to just fold into yourself and become invisible, or you may feel like snapping at the people around you, or you might just feel generally impatient with the world. Let’s face it, sometimes when you’re pissy or hurting, you just want to smack people who are simply in your presence much less present and happy simultaneously.

When that moment happens, learn from the TSA:  make someone smile.

Yes, you read that right. Learn from the TSA.

And yes, I mean that TSA. The airport security people who check your stuff and your body for weapons and other nefarious doodads, such as super-scary containers of liquid that are larger than 3 ounces.

I want a shoulder tag for my shirts that reads "MOM"... image credit to lincaustin.com

Today, as I headed home from my monthly work trip, I watched the TSA agents in amazement. When I passed by the first agent, he gave me a winning smile, a smile he’d been sharing with every single traveler, and said, “Hello there, beautiful!” The next agent – the man checking IDs – kindly teased me about my ID photo. Then another agent walked by, smiled broadly and yelled, “Hey there, youngster!”

This was my experience, and I could see that these fantastic men and women (I'm looking at you, Love Field TSA team) were treating every passenger with this same kind, fun, funny attentiveness. And thanks to them, a large number of the weary, tense, exhausted travelers passing through the security lines ended up smiling and laughing by the time they reached the other side of the security gauntlet.

You see, sometimes making someone else smile is the best salve for a tense soul or hurting heart. Sometimes when frustration or sadness feels like it’s about to overwhelm you, the simple act of giving someone else even a little joy can be amazingly rewarding.

These TSA agents today had no way of knowing their actual impact on any of us, either. For some of us, they might have simply added a glimmer of happiness to an okay afternoon. For others of us, they may have lifted hurting spirits and reminded us to look for good even in the roughest day. And for others of us yet, they perhaps reminded us to pass along smiles to others in our path.

I have several friends right now who are going through rough moments. Some are dealing with significant work struggles that are causing them to ponder what they should do next. Others are managing through illnesses and child rearing challenges. And at least a handful are trying to start the painful process of mending their broken hearts. To each of these friends, I wish them smiles and hope. If I don’t have the opportunity, I hope someone makes them laugh or feel special today. I hope someone today is their personal TSA agent (how often do you hear that said?).

More than that, I hope that each one of these friends of mine brings a smile to someone else today. Because if they do, they will be repaid tenfold with happiness. Or chocolate. But more likely happiness. And with happiness comes healing.  So... smile.  

Tips to Make Your Early Morning Flight Fellow Passengers Not Hate You

Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, Atlanta, GA

July 18, 4:30am

When you have to take an early morning flight – which qualifies, in my opinion, as any flight before 9:00am, thanks to the need to arrive at the airport so flipping early to muddle through security – it’s frustrating enough just to wake up early enough to get to the airport on time. That alone is worth several high fives, a hearty pat on the back and bit of “kiss my arse.” Then you have to navigate check-in, the myriad of TSA rules, finding your gate and staying awake until your flight boards. It is not a situation that leaves one in a forgiving, kind and congenial mood.

Because of this, it is more imperative than ever, when you fly early and interact with your fellow travelers, to follow a few simple rules in order to prevent a cavalcade of annoyance or even outright hostility.

1. For heaven’s sake, tone down the cologne. Let’s ignore for a moment that some of us actually get headachy and nauseated by heavy cologne scents. You’re in an enclosed space. Don’t make the rest of us feel like the migraine-burdened Jeanie in your bottle of overbearing musk.
2. Talk just a little quieter, please. If you’re in a group, if you’re on your cell phone (pre-flight, of course, ahem), if you’re speaking to your small child, if you’re having a conversation with the voice in your head, if you’re practicing your monologue for your new film…look, it’s whatever-crazy-hour a.m. Even though we’re in an airport, it’s still quiet. You don’t have to make it your personal mission to show us how loud the airport will be later.
3. Please, PUH-lease, ditch the smelly food. We have covered the problem of smelly food on an airplane before. This one is universal and holds true at any time of day. ‘Nuff said.
4. As with #3, this one holds true always – please quit with the nail clipping out in the middle of the airport or on the plane. I’ve seen it too many times myself and have read way too many posts on Facebook about it to leave this one out. Is it a ritual? Are you sacrificing your nail tips to the gods of flight in hopes of a safe trip? No? Then do this at home, or at least in the restroom.
5. Sit up like a grown-up on the chairs at the gate. Yes, you in the pajamas who obviously crashed in the airport overnight. Believe me, I’ve slept in an airport. Recently, in fact. But when people start showing up at the gate, you know what? It’s time to share the seating. Because we all would love to lay down and fall asleep at this early hour. Possibly more than you, since we already had to attempt to wake up. Don’t make us go all Lord of the Flies on you.

There are so many more tips that I could share with you to make your morning flights less aggravating… for the rest of us. But I have to board my plane now. One nice thing about early morning flights: people are too tired to stand in a lunatic mob around the gate entrance once boarding begins. We’re all going to the same place, people. In the same vehicle. We will arrive at our destination simultaneously. In the mornings, travelers seem to get that. That or they just want sit still for as long as possible before lumbering through the gate and down to the plane. Because it’s early, people!

Holding Hands

I took the photo below at the airport.  It's a bit fuzzy because I took the photo with my iPhone while holding a Dunkin' Donuts coffee and glazed doughnut, pulling my little suitcase along while also trying not to lose this couple.  In other words, multitasking.

However, the lovely older couple in the photo were walking down the concourse holding hands so sweetly, I felt obligated to capture the moment.  And every time one of them had to pause a moment - to adjust a wayward shoe, to hike up a dragging purse, to peek into a little newsstand - the other would stand by patiently, and when they were ready to resume their journey, they resumed holding hands.  Every time.

People often look at grand gestures and lavish gifts as the end all be all demonstrations of love.  To me, this couple and their desire just to be tenderly connected epitomized love perfectly.  And I wanted to share that with you.