When I grow up, I promise to:
- Stop kvetching about my group project teammates (aside from Project Coach) who can’t seem to get their heads out of their arses to contribute something to our project that is due in 2 weeks. Something. Anything. Please.
- Be able to hear the word “moist” without feeling required to text it or email it immediately to my sister, who finds the word revolting. Moist.
- Quit wearing pigtails. Except when I run. Or when it’s summer. Or when my hair is long.
- Try to grasp the importance of mani-pedis.
- Reconsider my sheer adoration of my white hairs. (They are not gray. They are bright white and make my hair look sparkly.)
- Admit that I want the red wine, I don’t need the red wine.
- Stop eating cookies for dinner. At least as far as you know.
- Stop laughing when my 3-year-old says, in frustration, “Fucking ridiculous!”
- Finally break down and watch Rocky. (Don’t judge me.)
- Finally break down and have my Grease, Hair & Hairspray festival (you know what I’m talking about, M.E.).
- Quit procrastinating doing my schoolwork by writing blog posts.
Okay, so maybe I won’t really do that last one. What do you promise to do when you grow up?